“I was the first boy born in the town of Tomah Wisconsin in 1857.”
With these words Frank Augustus Miller began his reminiscences for his wife Marion in their Laguna Beach California home in April 1935. He was seventy-eight years old, slowed by sickness that had drained his strength over almost two years, unsteady in his walk and enfeebled in his movements. Remarkably however and a matter of comment his eyes were yet as bright, his spirit as strong and his mind as clear as ever in the otherwise diminished world that illness and age imposed.
“I was the first boy.” His opening words launched his recollections and offered also a summary view of his life, not simply an accidental or convenient opening comment for his recollections of a life as he offered them to the long view for a biographer.
Miller’s youthful diaries recorded active, sociable, inner-directed days, just what a first-born boy would want to be if not by birth order then by merit in the family and the community. He kept a record of a busy life around the village in addition to recording the usual flow of home tasks, school duties and church activities. Always there’s a sense that he’s the unself-conscious leader, the executive guiding tasks, journeys and events.
Later teen diary narratives sustain the unconscious pulse of “firstness,” of being up with even ahead of his peers. He joined his father on railroad field surveys as far away from home. He recorded his superior skills with adults at chess, backgammon and checkers; he became first captain of the village football team; he gloated a little at success in snow fights with “the larger boys”, and at his ability to “throw any boy in school my size except C. Fitzsimmons.”
The impulse to “firstness” also prompted brief Diary comments when he sensed failure, lost at debate, became entangled in the convolutions of spelling as required in school, or when he violated his conscience. Such self judgments suggested the need for better performance, an obligation to excel.
“Firstness” indeed became Miller’s pattern of thought expressed in activity and affirmed in his community, his energetic planning and execution blending to weave a self-perception and a life style. It was not simply hubris, egoism or compensation covering suspected deficits; deficiencies there may have been, but equally vital were well-developed habits of self-direction and confidence. He repeated the theme early in his reminiscences: “By the time I came of age I was proud of the fact that my kind of boy [was] pretty scarce. I am not very sure that kind of pride was [of] a very high plane but I am very sure that it came pretty near being the making of me.” Townspeople agreed, honoring him as first citizen in his lifetime.
None of the youthful events came to Miller’s mind as he talked for Marion’s skilful shorthand, but adult achievements did and he listed his key roles in achieving County status, in transportation, in local culture, architecture and public services. He sensed exaggeration, a lapse into egotism that might offend, and corrected himself, acknowledging the essential roles of family and influential men who had assured his success, more correctly calling himself “a factor,” but still securely in the van. Few indeed disagreed.
In maturity, “firstness” was a habit of mind, an awareness of being ahead, of being the first to offer an idea or plan of some kind though on occasions quite out of synch with his community. So the opening words of his recollections intended to begin his biography were as apt a life summation as they were a beginning.